I Know You, You Know Me...

 I hear people complain all the time that

"In Korea it's all about who you know"

as if it's a bad thing.

What, you would rather live in a place 

where the people you know don't help you?

Is that really the better, fairer option?

Honestly, is it such a bad thing 

that they trust the person they have met 

over a piece of white paper out of nowhere?

It just makes more sense,

to choose what you know.

And honestly, 

if you don't have the skills 

to get the connections,

are you really the right person for the job?

And what makes you more qualified?

Why should you be picked 

over a person who has put in some time 

and to build the relationships?

It doesn't bother me that this country

helps people they know. 

The truth is, 

it's like this the world over. 

You think it isn't?  

Well then kiddo, 

you don't know the right people.

Only Linda Ronstadt Really Gets Me

Oh, look at poor old pitiful me.

 There is no doubt 

my drama had gone stale.

The plot lines had dwindled 

and no cast had matriculated.

Sure, I could blame it on Korean's being cold,

or ex-pats being a bunch of twats,

but that's the easy way out -

blaming others for my isolation.

The truth is that I stopped trying.

I stopped reaching out.

I stopped going out.

I stopped planning things.

I stopped doing things. 

I had other priorities and it got out of hand.

However, for a moment I felt the blame trickling in.

For a minute I felt, "Poor me" settling into my constitutions.

"Poor me" I don't have any friends.

"Poor me" everyone left me.

"Poor me" it's so hard to meet people with the same interests.

"Poor me" I have to do everything myself.

So I called "Bullshit".

There is no poor me.

There is just me being stupid.

There is just me being selfish.

There is just me expecting other people 

to solve my problems.

 

I took responsibility.  I reached out.

Within minutes my life was booked out for months

because my friends are many and they are wonderful.

There was never any, "Poor me" 

there was just me being a dip shit.

 

 

Always A Little Wendy

This Wendy has never believed
the lost boys should have had to leave Neverland.

Maybe it's a flaw in my character,
But I think we should all be kids forever.

We should clap at butterflies.
Run barefoot in the summer.
Turn cartwheels in grass.
Ride bikes with our elbows out and head down.
Throw rocks at the water to count the ripples.
Slide down snowy hills.
Laugh when we fall down.

I believe in wonder.
I believe in delight.

So if you want you children to grow up serious.
If you want them to live in the "real world".
It's best if you keep them away from me.
I'll teach them all the wrong things.

But if you want someone who teaches them
that its always going to be ok,
that mistakes are worth it,
hard work is the greatest fun,
and laughter is the way through -
then send them my way.

We will fight with our wooden swords
until every last dream has been conquered,
then we will fall into exhausted sleep
and dream up more.

Perfect, Just As It Is

Beautiful things are everywhere, just waiting to be found.

But I've always loved the lost, broken things the best.

Just ask the Hairi-bou.

Handcrafted

If my childhood was a cup of coffee,

It would look like this.

Weight, Weight Don't Tell Me

This is UFC fighter Rashad Evans Height: 5'11 Weight: 205 lbs

This is UFC fighter Phil Davis Height: 6'2" Weight: 205 lbs

This is average Lanae

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 220 lbs

Yes, that's right. 

I seriously outweigh 

Light Heavyweight UFC fighters

who are 2" to 5" taller than I am.

You know what else?

That's ok.

Want to know something else?

Folks around me are fine with it as well.

Yah, even here in Korea.

In fact, many take me aside to let me know that -

even though I don't fit into the normal "stereotype"-

there's nothing wrong with it, 

I am still pretty,

and I don't need to go on a diet.

(To be honest this does make me giggle.)

Sure, many of my students call me Hulk Teacher 

and express surprise that a woman can be strong,

but they get used to it and they accept it.

Even better, we get to talk about it.

I'm thankful I don't fit into the norm.

I'm thankful I'm strong.

I'm thankful my kids bring it up.

Most of all, I'm thankful we get to talk

about all the ways women can be beautiful.

So, the next time someone comments on your looks.

Accept the challenge and talk about it.

Be confident in who you are and open to discussion.

What they think doesn't decide your choices,

but talking about it does give you a chance

to share a new perspective 

 that they might not have considered.

Feeling Super Phat

Yearling

A lot has changed in the last year.

A year ago today,

 I was riding my bike through Sokcho

letting the wind and sea air line my lungs as I raced

to trade soup for bread with the one friend I allowed myself to make.

Today I'm meeting the same friend 

as we prepare to say, "Goodbye!"

and he is swept away by my other bestie,

Babbie, to the good old US of A.

A year ago,

I was also saying, "Goodbye!"

To my first school of students.  

Preparing, myself to move from Sokcho 

to the unknown world

that is Anjung-eup.

A year ago, 

this is what my first garden looked like

 before I left it behind to start my life all over again, again.

 One year ago, 

I looked forward without hesitation and road the waves without question.

 

I hope that I can continue to as brave as I was,
or at least appeared to be,

one year ago.

Study Buddies

Learning Korean in Korea is not as easy as one would think:

• There aren't a lot of classes & tutors.
• Work schedules get in the way of classes that do exist.
• Korean's want to speak English with you.
• Korean isn't supposed to be spoken in classrooms.
• Most foreigners don't aren't learning Korean so you don't have study buddies.

So I've had to tie back into home roots.

Pull myself together,

and teach myself.

Pulling from a the following resources I've managed to build a language plan:

• Foreigners studying at Universities.
• Co-teachers and students.
• iPhone apps of all shapes and sizes.
• Old text books from former teachers.
• Free classes near my town and in Seoul.
• LiveMocha  whenever I have a minute.
• Designing my own study plans

As always, coffee shops provide the place  to pull all these different threads together.

As always, 

the struggle has been worth it.

Each week I accomplish something new.

Each week everything around me becomes easier.

Each week my experience in Korea grows more dynamic.

How Does Your Day Start?

Practice Makes Perfect

The new grill, brats & a fresh pot of sauerkraut 

was burning a hole in our pockets.

So we had a little practice BBQ.

Tested it out on a new guest.

and agreed that this summer 

was going to be might fine indeed.

Fishing Season Has Begun

 Pushing buttons is possibly my favorite pastime.

There isn't much that I find more delightful 

than a person willing to be baited.

It's always a little amazing to me that there are adults who are so willing

to allow others to have such an intimate roll in their emotions.

It is fascinating and I can't resist the temptation

 

to poke

to prod 

to needle.

This spring the fishing is especially fine.

I don't even need to use a net,

they're taking the bait:

 

hook,

line,

 

and 

 

 

sinker.

 

 

Broke as a Joke

If you only had $5 to your name,

what would you spend it on?

Alyssa and I are on the same page.

Street chicken of course.

Past, Present, Future

 One foot in front of the other.

There is silence around my bare feet that go 

thump, thump, thump.

There is no seeing, 

the word is dark, 

I simply trust my feet 

on the path they've known before.

Sometimes I stumble.

Sometimes I fall.

 

Each time I learn more.

Each night I remember the last.

Each night I consider the next.

Each night I go faster.

 

Until I cease to stumble,

and my feet carry me away

on the wings of memories.

Casting Call: Anjung Second Season

Since this K-Drama will been picked up for another season.

It's time to deal with the shake up of the cast.

Many of this years favorites have left the ROK 

in search of a new story line, and a few more are soon to go. 

 

The new cast has started trickling in but it's still too soon to tell

Who will join the ensemble?

Who will play a supporting roll?

Who will be the extras?

Rolling, Open auditions are currently being conducted.

 

 Applicants must have:

Snarky sense of humor

 Willingness for adventure

 Rabid self-awareness

Willingness to mock and be mocked

World food obsession 

Solid sense of self 

Abiding love of soju

Hobbies

 That "special" something extra

 

The list may seem daunting, but there has to be 

chemistry, commitment, continuity

or the show falls apart.

And nobody wants a mid-season cancellation. 

Finger crossed this isn't a live reenactment of

"Saved by The Bell: The New Class"

Can You Spare Some Change?

The hardest thing to do in life is change.

There is comfort in what we know. Which is why they say, 

"The devil we know is better then the devil we don't."

But sometimes you just have to suck it up.  

You have to muster up the courage to loose it all because, well, 

if you don't you've lost everything all ready.

Why is this important to me?  Because I grew up in a world peppered with people who where willing to sacrifice anything to avoid change or a fall from social grace.  I watched them sacrifice everything, including their children, for the money and the opinions of others

Like Scarlett stood in the empty field and swore, 

 "As God is my witness, they're not going to lick me! I'm going to live through this, and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again."  

I stood in the cold, empty Alaskan woods and said,  

"God, I won't let these people destroy my life.  I'm going to survive this and when it's over I'll never let fear of the unknown rule my life again."

From that point on I was committed to living a life without fear.

Of course it hasn't been that easy,

since, if there is one thing I can't deal with in life, it's change.

I continue, though, because I am changing even as we speak
and I don't want to live in fear of myself.


I try to remember that the reason I love the sea,
is that each time the tide ebbs and flows,
it unveils something new I'd never thought to look for.


So I must trust it will be with me,
as I change.

N7ZV2MQFCR2J

Stepping Stones

A year ago I made my first New Years resolution:

"Breathe In

and

Breathe Out

Repeat 10,541,200 times.

This year is all about resuscitation."

At the time is seemed an impossible goal.

My brain, emotions and body were jello.

For whatever reason I was drawn to Korea.

Not because of it's exotic-ness or excitement

but because it seemed a kindred spirit.

A place that would hold me safely

until I could learn to walk again.

A place I could breathe in and breathe out 10,541,200 times.

I was not wrong.
Mission accomplished.

Now, there are a thousand more questions than answers.

It's time to dance with those skeletons and ghosts,

and sort the friends from foes.

My 2012 New Years Resolution Is:

"To connect the dots
and follow them like
stepping stone
into the future."

Pohang

Changes in Attitude, Changes in Latitude

Today the solitude comes to a close.

Since the islands were not possible,

the executive decision was made

to call in the Wolfpack.

Let the festivities begin.