Mad Minute Family Time

And then there was that time 

my sister-in-law came for a mad minute.

With awesome presents.

We parted like we were jet lagged in Itaewon.

She lived in Korea for three years

and was in shock from all the changes.

From Russia With Love

One of the happiest days of my life.

My brother and family have come from Russia to visit us.

(I am not the only expat in the family.)

My big brother is a best friend and hero all in one.

And he came to see us along with all the fixings: 

a beautiful wife and two awesome nephews.

Our first stop.

My favorite 쌈밥식당.

You have two choices.  Spice or not spicy :)

The family was in food heaven,

and I was just in heaven.

No but really the Pyeongtaek Restaurant 

is only 8,000 each the food is amazing.

Missing The Important Parts

My sister Rebeqa is getting married
and I'm not there.

As can be expected, 

I'm a little devastated.

As sad as I am,

I can also look back on our lives 

and I know I was there 

when she needed me most.

And I know that our relationship

is wider and deeper 

than this ocean that separates us.

It's A New Dawn, It's A New Day

 Today is Saturday.  This morning I woke early and made my morning espresso and listened to a light spring rain falling on the rice paddies.  My last morning alone is shrouded in a soft grey mist.

For over two years I've wondered if this day would ever come.  The day my Harry-bou would follow me across the world.  Today he did.  In nine hours he will touch down in South Korea with no return flight.

Ours has not been a love built under bright blue skies so it seems fitting that he should arrive amidst the sweet melancholy of warm spring showers.   Ours has been a Winter Sonata, a Miramax film, a Dickens tale.  

However, our story is not over.  Instead we are entering a new season.  One that will build on the drama and suspense of the previous years, but with a fresh new perspective and a lighter pen.  This time we are going off script.  We are tossing out the formulas and letting our characters develop without consideration for the formula everyone says works.   This time around we are going for laughs, cheesy romance and a lot of slap-stick adventure.  

Of course with any luck, the biggest change this season will be the weather and there will be bluer skies ahead.

Our Dirty Little Secret

As I stare at another great American tragedy in the headlines, 

I ask myself, 

"Why?"  

Why do people say to those of us in South Korea, 

"Come home!  You aren't safe!"

We aren't safe? 

Come home?  

Do you watch the news in the US?  

What exactly about living there is safe?

What is it you want us to come home to 

that will be better for us?  

Is it the:

• lack of jobs? 
• poor wages?
• high cost of living?
• lack of vacation time?
• absence of safe, affordable and reliable public transportation?
• over priced graduate schools?
• crippling education debt?
• lack of access to adequate affordable health care?
• a realistic fear of being shot or assaulted by your students?
• the overwhelming chance to be harassed or sued by students parents?
• fear of being assaulted in our homes?
• fear of being shot in the streets or at large events?
• restricted access to over priced birth control?
• staggering cost of giving birth in a country with an infant mortality rate close to 3rd world levels? 

(this list can go on for ages so I will just stop here)

Is this what you want for us?

To leave behind a theoretically "unsafe" life,

to return to a truly unsafe one?

Because here is the dirty little secret

we don't want to tell you:

Living in South Korea

is the first time many of us 

have ever felt safe.

No, we are not stupid.

We know that something could happen someday.

But dealing with someday is better than dealing directly 

with the impact of an extensively violent culture

while sitting around your house employed

and drowning in massive debt.

So if you love us, just say,

"We love you.

We miss you miss you.

We worry about you."

But don't say, 

"Come home!  You aren't safe!"

Because,

1. It's simply is not true.

2. Even if it were true, 

coming home wouldn't improve our odds.

You Can't Touch This

These boys have me wrapped around their little fingers.

 There are a lot of lonely people out there

who feel disconnected,

and lost in the space between 

themselves and other people.

This is a universal experience, 

yet borders seem to magnify it.

For reasons I haven't quite understood,

once you cross a border it's like, 

for many people,

you stop existing.  

You have fallen off the ends of the earth.

The funny part is that in a country the size of the United States,

living outside the country is sometimes closer then living in the country.

For example, 

visiting my family in Seattle

is only a 9-10 hour flight from Korea.

Yet, when I went to college in Nashville 

I was 16-20 hours away from my home in Talkeetna.

Still, folks consider my move to Korea more of a displacement.

I can tell you right now, 

it was not.

That said, 

whether I'm in Alaska, Tennessee or South Korea,

maintaining a connection with my family is my priority.

They are the light of my life and the beat of my heart.

Thankfully, they feel the same way,

and we don't let each other miss out on all the important days.

They set a place for me at Thanksgiving dinner,

and I join them at 8am via Skype.

My brother Skyping me 
from his Russian hospital bed,
even while getting a consult from his Dr
just so I know he's pulling through.

Planning my sister a surprise 30th birthday
and filling it with Skype dates for her with people 

from all over the world who miss her. 

My nephews calling from Russia 
to learn about Korea,
and to just say hello.

We make sure to have smart phones and FaceTime 

and we take each other on virtual tours of places 

the other has never been.

My aunt and cousins calling to chat about their days
and just be a family.

We use text messaging to keep each other posted

with moment to moment photo of our daily delight

and the knowledge that we are loved.

Basically, we always remember 

that the other needs the other

and that is all the heart truly needs.

Handcrafted

If my childhood was a cup of coffee,

It would look like this.

Noshing On Love

 

The key to my happiness:

a family that goes above and beyond.

They don't just send a few emails,

they make me a part of daily life.

For example,

this morning I awoke to a grand feast 

and a seat at the Thanksgiving table.

 

They scooped me a big plate,

we told family stories,

played practical jokes

- in short -

we were a family.

It didn't matter that all I actually consumed was my morning coffee.

The time with my family was the nourishment I need.

The Montage Episode

Mail + Scooter = Superhero

Today a little love arrived by scooter.

A late birthday present from Rock'n Rebeqa.

It was filled with delicious delights,

but truth be told,

the post-its sold the show.

Like a montage episode,
the notes remind me of our favorite plot lines
and end of season cliff hangars.
In my mind the scenes of our days on the beach
intercut with snowball fights
and long winters by the fire.

It's the perfect look back
on why my sister has and will always have
a staring role in my Drama.

Trick or Treat?

"One's face is equal to or stupider then one's butt" - Strongbad

This year I celebrated a week of Happy Hallow Harry-Boo-Boo,

in honor of officially living with him longer then I've lived without him.

Somehow our circles continue to intertwine.

We've been through murder and high-water together,

so sometimes we hate each other,

sometimes we're sick of each other,

sometimes we can't stand each other's stupid faces.

However, we both know those times will pass,

and that said feelings have little to do with the other person,

and a lot to do with our own personal demons aquired

from a life filled with more then it's fair share of tragedy.

So, instead of putting so much focus on our feelings,

we just love each other despite the crazy,

despite our night terrors,

our anxieties,

our rage,

and despite the worlds that have crumbled around us.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that,

I love Harri-bou's smiley, 

never changing, 

always loyal,  

ever encouraging,

eternally supportive,

blindly devoted,

ever handsome,

stupid face.

Say Uncle

I've waited most of my life for this album.

The new album by Al Koenig

Growing up my Uncle Al didn't always have a lot to say,

but he always had his guitar

and when he played his music said 

all you needed to know.

As an adult,

my Uncle Al has been the father I never quite had.

Supportive, encouraging, grounded.

I'm not saying that we talk a lot about things,

because neither of us are really that type.

Luckily, we don't really need too.

He plays and I listen.

He has a lot of great advice,

and now I can carry it with me

everywhere I go.

Get it for yourself!

Past, Present, Future

 One foot in front of the other.

There is silence around my bare feet that go 

thump, thump, thump.

There is no seeing, 

the word is dark, 

I simply trust my feet 

on the path they've known before.

Sometimes I stumble.

Sometimes I fall.

 

Each time I learn more.

Each night I remember the last.

Each night I consider the next.

Each night I go faster.

 

Until I cease to stumble,

and my feet carry me away

on the wings of memories.

Back to a Bang

On the airplane home a woman asked why I was teaching in Korea.

I said, "Because the kids are great and there are no guns in school."

She made a pity face and replied, 

"Oh.  No freedom?"

I had no words.

Upon landing I was greeted by this:

"Welcome back to the USA"

I thought as tweakers begged for bus money.

Three days later five students were shot in an Ohio school.

Three died before I left.

 It was surreal.

Redundantly so.

A Lonely Island Thaigiving

Old Family

New Family

It's All About Moderation

The feast

Bartenders in Actions

Yup, even classy on the holidaze.

Do the "Creep"

"I don't know what but I think I'm going to have a great day..."

B-moves in the living room

"Now back to the good part"

Thaigiving is the new Thanksgiving

For the oven-less foreigner,

the holidays get a bit more creative.

So this year we decided to celebrate with fusion Thai food.

The Thai Giving Menu:

Thai Cucumber Salad

Chicken & Tofu Satay with Peanut Sauce

Tom Kai Gah

Swimming Rama

Pumpkin Walnut Chicken Curry

Cherry Pie

It was magical

and it made us Creep.

(Thank you Rebeqa, Crystal, Alyssa, Landino, Steph, Lisa, and Norma Jean.)

Together Again

"Let's go together," Lauren Teacher said 

and off we went.

Adventures just seem more adventurous when

Rebeqa Teacher and Lanae Teacher

are together again.

A Moment In Time

For on magical day

my family was together.

It was delightful.

It is a precious memory.

The Adventures of The Harri-bou

To say that The Harri-bou loved Korea

would be a dramatic understatement.

 

 However, he has always said no place is perfect 

without Krispy Kreme.

 Done and Done.