Scouting New Locations for the Drama

A few rotations around the sun later I found myself in Thailand with my Candle in the Wind, Norma Jean. Somehow the stars and the schedules and the money aligned and we picked a place "in the middle", and by middle I mean financially, for us to meet.

Our lives are so different from the days we met on the mean streets of Anjung and NJ has become a force to be reckoned with. She's found a direction even without a North Star. Bali, Australia and New Zealand knocked off corners and built up foundations. It's a beautiful sight to see.

As for me, I'm not so sure as too if I'm more found or more lost in the past few years. There are things that have moved forward and things that have fallen off. After a few years of struggling to getup and walk, literally, there is a certain, unattractive, sedentary nature to my life that needs cleaned out. Like a stopped up drain.

The trip to Thailand to connect and to refresh was my Liquid Drain-o. The hard reboot to a life that's, unfortunately, been lived from the sidelines a bit too much lately. I think it worked. More thoughts are flowing like the yoga I've returned to the last few months.

It feels like it might be time for this drama to scout out some new locations, sometimes it's time to let the old things go and look at a spin-off. Part of me wonders if maybe it's time to start thinking about Until We Meet Again: The Uruguay Tales.

Chasing My Tail Around the Sun

 

For the first time in over three years, I'm going home.

It's been so long that I don't even know what to expect. Outside of life with my sisters, I've mostly forgotten what it was like to exist in the US. Plus, I'd imagine that it's changed from what I remember.

The last time I went home the Harri-bou-bou still lived there and I wasn't as set in my ways here. We didn't have dogs, I didn't have commitments and I felt that I might somehow go for a visit and get stuck there.  Something I desperately didn't want. My entire being vibrated with the fear that I'd be forced to give up before I'd really even begun.

Three years later it's a very different situation. My drama has found it's stride. I'm settled into a comfortable life with substantial friendships, some semblance of a career, side projects, puppies, a passable grasp on the language, and I'm content in it all. So content I'm not even worried about losing it. It's just something that is right now and someday may not be anymore. Either way it's alright because I've done it right. My goals have been accomplished, my questions have been answered.

After this trip things will change. I doubt I'm moving back the the US anytime soon, but I will be going home more and I will be spending more time with friends and family. From here my world gets bigger again and I'm excited about that.

Jogja on my mind

Yogyakarta, or Jogja as it's widely known, is a city in central Java.  A few days after I made it to Bali (which I'll get to in another post soon!), I jumped over to Yogyakarta for a friend's wedding.
Much different than Bali, the major religion here is Islam and there's fewer foreigners - tourism isn't their bread and butter so to speak. It's a much bigger city than my little town in Bali; things move faster, the traffic is heavier, it's urban in a uniquely Indonesian way.  This is evident through everything from style, food, clothes, prices (it's delightfully cheaper here) and even sounds as you can hear the call to prayer from the mosques drifting through the equatorial heat and buzz of motorbikes.

Jogja is also home to most of Indonesia's art universities and the energy here reflects that. Street art abounds with the smells of delicious street food making for a colorful, sensory experience.

Here are some snaps from my trip so far:

Well hello there!

Soto Sapi - Lamb soup with rice
Es Jeruk - Iced orange drink

Driver on a break

Irises on the street

Show your colors

Picked up this jumpsuit for $8US

Street food

Waiting for the green light

Gelato cappuccino shake 

Motorbike passenger selfie

Java Sawa - Rice Fields

Pedicabs

Ibu is always watching

All the fruits

Sate Ayam - Grilled Chicken
This man grills skewers of chicken on an open charcoal flame 

Change the ordinary

Buy the ticket, take the ride or One Night Only

I started seeing posts and getting messages on my facebook last night.. Rinjani's erupting again, flights are being cancelled.  Friends and acquaintances waylayed at airports around the world.

So I call Virgin Australia when I got home for work and they confirm, some flights have been cancelled, but mine's still a go.  I'm flying from Christchurch to Brisbane to Bali.  I think, OK, this ash cloud is going to blow over, I'll be there tomorrow night, Bintang beer in hand.  

I called again at 4am before my 6:30AM flight.  No they said, my flights still a go.  So I take my bags and my wonderful flatmate, and we haul out to the airport.  Upon arrival I'm told my flight's still a go, but the leg from Christchurch to Brisbane has been bumped to an afternoon flight run not by Virgin Australia, but Air NZ (of which I conveniently received an official email from Virgin Australia stating this change when we return from the airport at 6:00AM.)

I also call the travel agent I've booked with, Escape Travel, and am told to wait until we hear from Brisbane, where "ash cloud meetings" are held to determine whether flying conditions are OK.   Additionally they inform me that not only can they generally only notify of changes during their business hours, but my Bali flight is still a go and I should WAIT UNTIL WE HEAR AFTER THE MEETING TO CHANGE MY FLIGHT. 

At 2pm, when I hadn't heard, I called Virgin Australia.  They confirmed that Rinjani's still going, and the second leg of my flight, from Brisbane to Bali was cancelled, but that my flight from Christchurch to Brisbane was still all systems go.  

Thinking this was pretty weird, I asked why they wouldn't just postpone the whole thing and I could stay in Christchurch until it's all sorted.  

This is where a very fun little game of "buck passing" comes into play...

I was told yes, that is odd, but the travel agent booked the flight so any changes had to come through them.  

I then called the Escape Travel again and they informed me that it was too late to pay to change the date of the first leg of my flight, and if I DIDN'T GET ON THE PLANE TO BRISBANE I would be treated a s a no-show, and forfeit the cost of my entire booking.  

At this point, I thought, this is some sort of bureaucratic loop, it does't logically make sense.  Why would Virgin Australia fly me to Brisbane only to make me wait indefinitely (LITERALLY DAYS) for an ash cloud to move instead of just changing my booking?

So I head to the airport again thinking this is ludicrous, I don't know very many people in Brisbane.  Why would they waylay me in transit without support?   

Low and behold, when I check-in for my first flight (it was operated by Air NZ but Virgin did officially book me on it from a Virgin flight with a forwarding itinerary to Bali!) the Bali flight was cancelled, and I was told they couldn't check my bags through to Bali, but Brisbane should know more about the whole situation, they're closer to the action, etc...

Virgin Australia even KNEW ABOUT THIS as the agent from AIr NZ couldn't fine the additional baggage I added to my ticket, so went over to the Virgin Australia counter to confirm the booking.  

I thought, OK, this could make a little sense!  Maybe they've sorted it, or have a system in place, or are grouping people together from streamlined destinations to reduce the disruption to service.

Unfortunately, that is not the case, and the Brisbane branch of Virgin Australia were somewhat horrified to find that I'd been put on a flight at the risk of either losing my entire booking or being in limbo until a volcano stops erupting.  

Logically, it would seem that you either change the flight, or accommodate those that are in Brisbane until this whole thing blows over (literally) and yet I was told they could either fly me back where I came from and further delay my arrival at my destination, or cover my accommodation for ONE NIGHT ONLY when I've been booked on a forwarding flight 3 DAYS FROM NOW!  

As tempting as it was to hop on another 3 1/2 hour flight back to exactly where I came from, I opted for the hotel, and will be in Brisbane for the next few days.

I'm lucky enough that a bunch of people stepped up via a facebook post I put up, and I have friends and places to stay until I leave.

It's really mind-boggling that I was forced to choose between either losing my entire flight or showing up to a place without plans, without knowing if I had any people here, only to be told that I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place and that I'd only have a guaranteed place to stay for a night (when they re-booked me for 3 days later!)

Between Escape Travel and Virgin Australia, it looks like I just can't win, and that's a shame because when these things happen that's when a company really has the opportunity to be flexible, accommodating and at least cover a girl's hotel when she's told by literally every company representative to get on a flight to limbo!  

Love,

Norma Jean 

Let's Go Home Together

There is always a bee in my bonnet about something, lately it's been about riding my bike, which happens to be a 10 year rusty old cruiser handed down to me by Norma Jean before she ran off to be the lead in her own drama in the Southern Hemisphere. 

With Korean classes finished I decided to get my butt back in the seat and start riding home from work. Kind of ease myself back into it. A great idea on all accounts, except that I forgot the important of science in daily life.  Like, when air changes temperature it changes pressure... which meant I faced my first ride home with bike tires that were dramatically under inflated... dramatically.

It was as if I was peddling backwards, I had it is first gear and could hardly propel it forward.  Huffing and puffing with all my might, I thought, "Oh, my god! What has happened to me? I can't even ride a bike." At which point I asked myself, "Why am I kicking myself in my own butt when I peddle?" Thus jogging my memory that I had recently loaned my bike to someone a great deal shorter than myself and they had lowered my seat. Since this was one thing I could fix in the moment, I did and the ride went from feeling like I was going backwards, to just feeling like I was pedaling through think mud.  A drastic improvement. 

Once I was on the road I was elbows out, head down, huffing and puffing like the wicked witch of the west except my outfit wasn't black enough.  With my knitted pink and brown wrist warmers, fuzzy ear muffs, and big puffy navy and orange jacket - I was a red clown nose away from the circus. 

In the end, the trip took 1.5 hours due to the tire situation.  The next day, with tires fixed and seats raised, it only took 50 minutes.  Which really isn't bad on an old beater. It looks like this will be my new mode of transportation until the roads ice up in a few months.  Here is a bit of what it looks like on the road home.

A Tale of Two Cities

I'm moving again.  Moving countries, changing visas, swapping out cultures, food, friends, climates, and generally shaking everything up.

The good news is, I've done this before.  I could say I know what I'm doing, but it's more like I know what not to do, how to be graceful, grateful.  

I don't want to hold on
I want to love
everything
everyone
everywhere
and I do

They'll just never be in the same place.
And that's OK.

Leaving Christchurch is bittersweet.   It's not goodbye but see you later, come visit, stay in touch, who knows! I've made friends here, started building a community, and a life. A life that I'm consciously giving up to follow my heart, feel the wind on my face as I ride my scooter through a throng of traffic, eat spicy street food, leaving the security and pure beauty that is New Zealand behind for a freedom the west wasn't built for.

I'm going back to a place that I've lived, where I have friends, community, and generally know my way around.  That's not to say it will be the same.  That's not to say time won't have passed and my friends, community, and very town that I know in Bali won't be different, but I'm different.  Nothing is ever the same.  And that's OK.

Love,

Norma Jean

You can view all of my doodles, with everything I love on my website, Norma Jean Loves

Move over food blogs, my life goes here.

How the blog feels right now.

Although I've avoided creating a location dependent useful blog, I've finally jumped off the cliff and created South of Seoul.  I already manage this blog (Until We Meet Again), The Expat Table, and NaeNae Korean so doing one more wasn't of interest to me.  However, not many folks have lived in this area very long and people ask me for information regularly so having blogs with addresses and info is easier than answering the same question a hundred times.  I tried just posting them on this blog, but it just messes up my flow.

This blog isn't supposed to be about anything.  It's not supposed to be useful, it's just where I ramble about crap so I can get my brain right.  Kind of like a journal everyone is allowed to see, but nobody is really supposed know about.  Except that now they do. Apparently thousands of people each month now stroll through my drama.  Which is fine, but also weird because they might not really care.  They might just be looking for a burger or a Korean grammar point.  

Which is why I'm getting my act together and getting rid of some of the clutter.  So, for those of you who are caught up in the drama, feel free to stick around.  But if you are just interested in finding lunch or passing your exams, check out my other blogs and you will find more of what you are looking for in easier to search formats.  You don't have to sort through all my issues just to find a good sandwich.

South of Seoul:  Things to eat and do around Pyeongtaek

The Expat Table: Expat oriented cooking and gardening website.

NaeNae Korean:  Help for those studying Korean, especially the KIIP program

Desk warming, More like Heart Warming

My favorite spot for studying and thinking about things

For the last four years I've listened to teachers complain about something called desk warming.  This is where you are required to be at work, but actually have no required work to do.  In short, you have eight hours you need to be "at work" but you can do anything you want with this time.  Even as I write this I think, "How can anyone possibly hate this?"

Of course, I tried not to judge because, as a hagwon teacher I had not walked a mile in their shoes.  Yah, well, now I have walked in said shoes and I'm calling it, "The bitching and moaning is cray cray." This is my dream come true.  Weeks on end of eight straight hours where no one can bother me while I do my projects.  Let's see, what am I doing?

Writing books

Yoga

Studying Korean

Talking to my family

Blogging

Researching things

Practicing basketball & volleyball

Staring at the wall (my fave)

Looking at trees

Listening to sounds

Researching grad schools

(Eventually doing grad school)

Generally relaxing without being bothered

In short, it's the vacation I've always wanted.
Without the expectation to have fun, I can actually relax
and then go home to my own bed.

There is no way to meet anyone, go anywhere, or doing anything spectacular or interesting.  This is dedicated me time just for thinking and doing stuff.  This is so much cooler than the coolest job I could have dreamed of, because on top of this dedicated "me time" I'm also granted 20 vacation days for the adventures that I do want to have.

Even just now, I got tired of blogging, pulled out the yoga mat and did a bit work on my back.  You never even noticed, neither did my boss. Oh, wait, there went another good 30 minutes checking out Kpop dance tutorials. Once again, no one was bothered by my lack of focus or motivation.  Desk warming is my new favorite hobby.

Oh the books I will write, the restaurants I will review, the food swaps I will plan, the Korean students I will help.

All Hope Is Lost... until next time I hope

Recommended tool for surviving class

Sitting in a cold, moldy basement I started to question my existence, life choices, and the futility of hope.  I walked through all the choices in my life that had brought me to this point and I deemed them wrong.  At times I could hear my teacher talking, but mostly I focused on the six hour game of phone solitaire that I was playing in hopes that it might help me cling to some small part of sanity.  It those moments I realized that dreams aren't worth it.  The only thing that mattered was not losing my mind.

That was me yesterday. Trying to cope with my final 8 hour class taught be the worst teacher I have ever had. Today I actually do want to live again, but I'm still not sold that dreams are worth it.  I'm mentally drained and the sound of all languages makes me twitch.  The sight of my text book, straight up makes me want to cry.  Thankfully most of my English classes are cancelled and I can spend the day meditating on what's important. It might help me find a sliver of that inner peace I used to promote as, "The most important thing" before I stuffed it in a gutter for two years while I attempted to complete the KIIP program.

Two weeks from now I will take the final exam for the second time, and I will fail it for a second time. Despite intense effort, I simply haven't been able to reach the level they require in the time allotted. It's maddening. However, I also know it's not from lack of trying or lack of knowing. I'm just not a person who can memorize and regurgitate. I'm a slow methodical person who has to understand everything in great detail - so I can't make the deadline.  I'm still learning the language and they want me to be memorizing data.

Has the journey been worth it?  It's hard to say. Sitting in class for 6-8 hours nearly every Sunday for years, for me, can only be described as psychologically crushing. Especially since, for 1.5 years, I was studying at least 6-8 hours a day on top of that. In the intensity I lost all grasp on all languages I speak, along with sanity, and control of my emotions.  I felt mental and physical pain from learning.  I've never experienced anything like it. It was as if my brain was being ripped apart and rewired and, frankly, I couldn't handle it. Especially because it felt like I never improved. I'm still so far from where I need to be it's humiliating.

You might think, "Good lord, how stupid must she be? Who studies that much and still can't pass a test?"  A person with Dyslexia, that's who.  It was so hard to overcome this. No matter how many times I saw things I couldn't get it to stick right.  Each time it looked new or different. Thankfully I overcame this with colored film, but the time was still lost. As they say, those are years you can't get back.

There was also that whole 6 months of bed rest after an injury the day before KIIP started, along with a year of pain killers and rebuilding my left leg that made it a bit difficult to focus, but- honestly - that was nothing compared to the mental pain so I kind of forget about it these days.  Let's just say that there were many battles being fought and, for a long time, I felt like I was losing all of them.

So, after yesterdays little mental collapse, I'm staring down the barrel of this final test I'm just like, "Screw it. I'm done."  I'm not going to cram for this.  Yes, I'll have to take the class one more time, but at this point I don't even care because I NEED it.  I'm not the person who can pick up a new language in a minute.  I need it jammed into my thick skull by force until my brain is so miserable it just gives up and accepts the new reality.

So, for all of you out there trying to keep you head above the KIIP waters. Fighting!!! Our misery will end someday as long as we just keep showing up.  Some of us will be rewarded, not for our intelligence, but our sheer stubbornness and that's good enough for me.

I'm on your team, be on your team with me

They say you're pretty lucky if you can count your good friends on one hand.

Having connected with some great women around the world I consider myself luckier than most.

They're all amazing, capable, beautiful, lovable, empowering human beings, and it is such serendipitous magic that we're in each other's lives.

It's interesting though, as free-spirited, independent women we're all subliminally bombarded with messages, daily, about how we're not enough.

Because we're women, our value as humans is tied to our relationship status, age, demurity, niceness, size, money we have (or don't have) along with countless other irrelevant factors.

While sometimes difficult, it's important to utilize our strength to value ourselves.  In other words, be on your team! That's much easier said than done, and I personally find that it helps to have others on your team with you.

So most importantly, surround yourself with people who love you, so when those moments of doubt inevitably creep in, someone will remind you "I'm on your team, be on your team with me."

It's taken me a long time to even recognize that doubt, let alone be able to turn it off and breathe.  I'm lucky enough to have friends who encourage me to value myself, be on my team.

This is part of why I'm moving back to Bali, and part of why for the first time in my entire life, I made the decision to not take a job in front of me, and value myself more than expectations set before me.

Love,

Norma Jean

You can view all of my doodles, with everything I love on my website, Norma Jean Loves

Korean Tutors in Pyeongtaek

 

UPDATE: All current blogging for area recommendations has moved to the blog South of Seoul.

 

Finding a Korean tutor in Pyeongtaek can be maddening.

Thankfully, I know two amazing ones!

Introducing Sue and Jennifer!

Jennifer Teacher

Sue Teacher

These two wonderful teachers just finished up an intense two year certification aimed at teaching Korean to foreigners and they are ready to help you get to the next level.  If you are just getting started, or you need to get over a learning hump, these women can help you succeed in learning Korean.

Personally, I'm lucky enough to have called them friends for four years, as well as taught English with them and learned Korean from them.  I can attest to the fact that they are excellent at explaining concepts and helping you find answers to your questions.  

It was so exciting when they received their Korean Teaching certificates because suddenly I could recommend not one, but TWO qualified Korean Tutors available in Pyeongtaek. As a bonus, they both speak excellent English!

For more information contact: 

Jennifer: jennifer1220@naver.com

Sue: xiuyong@naver.com

Seriously, they are the best.

a world of doodles is born

It all started with a boy.  A boy and a book.  A book and a tender heart.

Let me elaborate... about a year and a half ago, I dated a boy.  We had a lot in common; he's smart and funny, comes from a good family, and makes music.  It was only for about 6 weeks, and it ended because he just didn't like me that much.

Objectively, it wasn't a good fit, and our lives were in different places.  As a logical person, this totally makes sense.  As a life-long romantic, who was currently a traveling, musical, bliss-sprinkler in the midst of the counter-culture shock of the west, and the first winter I'd had in years (and a pretty rough start in Australia,) it was slightly devastating.


Feeling pretty isolated, and not having internet (part of said rough start) I joined my local library to check my emails, and keep in touch with the wider world.

Libraries are magical universes unto themselves; time stops, things are still, there are limitless stories.  All is quiet thanks to the watchful eyes of dowager librarians in lumpy grandpa cardigans.

It is here, in a library, in suburban Melbourne, that I found an American friend who's heart had also been been tender, and open, and bruised, and resilient.  All at the same time.   His name is Leonard Cohen and his 'Book of Longing' brought me so much.

I had started writing poetry about feeling sad, that longing for community, the isolation of winter - both in Melbourne and being coldly alone in a new place,  expectations set upon women, and mostly girly, romantic notions of things that didn't work out.


Reading a book of how someone else felt the same way was inspiring, and inspired me to start creating out of it.  It started with a couple little doodles.. they weren't for anyone else but myself.

I think I started drawing them as a roadmap to get back to myself, to gain perspective of  my life, what I value, and how to genuinely love myself in the face of isolation, a consumerist society, and the illusion of loneliness.  


I'd take pictures of them and read them on the tram or waiting at bus stops, reminding myself that everything is okay and the feeling that it's not, is temporary.  I started sharing them with friends who felt similarly, who'd internalized the idea that in any way they just weren't enough.  Enough for a boy, enough for a job, enough for themselves.

Sometimes the road we pave for ourselves helps others get to the same destination.

Friends encouraged me to share them, and I decided to launch the ambitious project of posting a new doodle, everyday for the entire year of 2015 on my Instagram.

It's been a pretty great ride so far, and the road that I've started down I now walk with heaps of supporters, friends, and an entire online illustration community.


Today is day 280 out of 365.  I've gone through more relationships, friends, jobs, and moments of self-doubt since those first little cartoons.  I've come out stronger, my heart confident that I know who I am, and that I'm not only okay, I'm great (hopefully with a sense of irony, humor and a bit of grace!)

Love,

Norma Jean

Check out my Instagram  or website, Norma Jean Loves where you can see my doodles, music, and everything I love.

Korean Grammar: I thought so

KIIP GRAMMAR NOTES

동사/형용사 + 을 줄 몰랐다/알랐다 = I didn't know that would happen / I thought that would happen

Important Breakdown

동사/형용사 + 을 = future tense

줄 = a fact (marker has been dropped)

모르다/알다 + 었다 = something you didn't know/knew in the past

An awkward, but more direct translation that helps in some cases:

• 난 너가 갈 줄 몰랐어요.        You were going is a fact I didn't know.
• 난 너가 갈 줄 알았어요.        You were going is a fact I knew.

Find more KIIP Tutorials at my blog NaeNae Korean

NaeNae Korean

So much studying, so little time

They say that the best way to learn is to teach.  

So, in order to get better at Korean a little each day, I've decided to create a website dedicated to tutorials for the Korean Immigration and Integration Program (KIIP).  

For starters, I'm focusing mostly on grammar.  

However, I'm going to also create short segments on important concepts that you will need to understand inside and out in order to pass the test well.

If you are interested in my tutorials and videos you can find the at:

naenaekorean.blogspot.com

NaeNae Korean on YouTube

You can do all that liking and following stuff that everyone talks about.

I, like, JUST started it so I will try to have something post each day.
Try is the operative word.

One Thing Leads to Another

All we have out here is each other. So hang on tight.

When I watch Diego and Nyx rough and tumble across our floor I not only reminded of the miracle of their survival, but also the miracle of the human hearts ability to love during the most difficult times. Sure, I know what you might be thinking, "Hey crazy dog lady, it's just some dogs. Don't get too carried away." 

Well, what you might not know is that both of our little cuddle monsters came from homes filled with the love and compassion of migrant/refugees from the middle east who, with nothing of their own, still found time to love something that didn't deserve any of their precious time or limited emotional energy.

While worrying about their families safety, their human rights, their visas, sending money to their families, finding jobs, living without community - they still had space in their hearts to love something that couldn't even care for itself.  In Diego's case, they loved something that didn't even have the emotional capacity to really be kind to them in return. He loved them, but he couldn't control himself enough to always be kind.

Years later, Diego's rescue dad has become one of our dearest friends. He is an amazing person who works tirelessly in a stressful job to support his family that remains in Syria while also fighting for refugee status for - not only himself - but also the rest of his family so they can join him in Korea. During this struggle, he has still found time to reach out and help us when we have needed it. A fact that leaves us very humbled. 

So, when I see my puppies rough and tumbling around the floor I'm reminded that I am wealthy.  I'm reminded that I have the time and resources to help those around me.  I'm reminded that compassion is the answer, not fear.  I'm reminded that Syrian refugees aren't an abstract concept in the news. They are part of the reason my Diego lives in my house. The reason I have a car that drives even when I didn't have the money for parts. The reason the Harri-bou-bou has a friend to climb with on the weekends.  We sit here so blessed by this friendship and wonder how we can begin to give back.

Why do I write this? Because I want you to know when you support refugees you support people who make a difference in this world. You empower the best kind of people.  When I say support, I don't mean just money.  I mean give them compassion, give them an ear to tell their story, understand what they have given up to be there next to you, understand that they loved what they left behind, give them friendship when they are alone. Do this because sometimes when the world is darkest, you don't need money, you need hope.

Basically, I write this in hopes that one person somewhere will be motivated to reach out to someone next to them that looks different, that sounds different, that is struggling in a new home with a new language, and just say, "Hey, let's be friends." Because that's how things go from being abstract to concrete, and it's how we find what we need most in the world - each other... and puppies.

Dogs Abroad: Catnip for Anxiety

Sometimes, despite all the love you have to give, you are no match for trauma.  That's the issue we faced with our little Diego Burrito.  Years of abuse and turned a delightful, energy filled bottle of joy into an unstable, terrified bottle of miscellaneous rage. 

Even his desire for love turned violent when too many emotions rushed him at once.  

After years of work, we were 90% there but that last 10% was proving impossible because he couldn't sleep to stabilize.  As someone with a background in dealing with people in crisis, I had a theory that if we could get Diego some sleep and reduce his anxiety we could cross the final gap in his training.  

But how?

In Korea they don't prescribe pills/anti-depressants to dogs.  We even went to an English speaking vet, but he was like, "We don't do that here".  I googled to see if I could get it shipped from the states, but they needed a vets prescription.  Heck, I even checked to see if I could visit a vet on the military base, but they only see military family pets. Even though I knew what I needed, there was just no way to access it in our current situation.  

Then, while on a day out with a friend she randomly asked, "I wonder what catnip would do to dogs?" So I googled it because that's what I do.  To my great shock, it said that catnip works as an anxiety reducer and antidepressant on dogs.  I was like, "WHAT?!!! We are going to the next pet store we see!!" Which we did.

The rest of the day I researched and researched but I couldn't find any dosage information.  What I did find was that it would be incredibly difficult and/or impossible for Diego to overdose on it so it was worth starting small and seeing what happened.  If you are going to try it, talk to vet. Be sure to start small, and don't over medicate. 

The first type that I found was traditional dried catnip.  At that point Diego had been especially stressed out, hiding in his room and growling at anyone who dared look in his general direction.  He wasn't violent toward anyone as long as we left him alone, but he was in physical distress from stress and we couldn't get close to comfort him or for a walk.  It was a desperate situation.

We started by adding two teaspoons of dried catnip to his food (I am not a vet. I am NOT saying this right for your dog.  I am just telling you what we did) with some water and let him eat, he gobbled it up without question. We also made a catnip "tea" that we put into his water bowl.  There was no exact amount for this.  We just boiled about 2 tablespoons catnip in a liter of water and then would do 1/2 tea and 1/2 water in his bowl. There is not exact recipe, be careful! Do less rather than more.

Within a few minutes of his first catnip dinner he was passed out asleep on his couch and slept for ages.  

This is how it was for the next few weeks.  We added catnip to his food in the morning and at night, as well as his water.  For the first two weeks he did A LOT of sleeping. However, he also started to do a lot more playing, going for walks, and hanging out with family.  He didn't act drugged when he was awake, he was just happier.  It was shocking to see how quickly he started to improve.  

After a few weeks he started sleeping less, a few weeks later we switched him from dried catnip to a catnip spray.  Each meal we sprayed 3-5 pumps.  What we found was that the catnip spray didn't make him as drowsy after he ate.  Instead, each day he just became more happy and content with life.  He doesn't seem like he is "drugged" he is just no longer tense from tail to nose.  He doesn't vibrate with anxiety and fear at the smallest sound.

Please understand, in addition to the catnip we have done EXTENSIVE training. Drugs aren't a solution, they are a tool. It's not a fix all, but it gives you the emotional stability needed to build new healthy habits.  If you have a dog that can't get their shit together because of anxiety/past abuse, this might be a tool you can use to get where you need to be when you live in a country without access to prescriptions.

Almost three months later he is one of the best behaved dogs we have ever had. Each day his possessiveness fades farther from the picture.  We aren't stressed about what's going to set him off, because he just doesn't get set off anymore.  Sure, he still makes terrible sounds when he hates things, but he isn't becoming aggressive.  He communicates and lets it go.  He listens, he plays, he sleeps, he cuddles.  He is the best.

We are so thankful we tried this.  It's given Diego his brain and happiness back.

Korean Grammar: On the verge

KIIP GRAMMAR NOTES

동사 + (으)려던 참이다 or 동사 + (으)려고 하던 참이다 = I was just about too .....

Important Breakdown

려고 하다 = plan or intent
던 = something that happened in the past
참 + 이다 = The truth is

The most important part of this phrase is 동사 + (으)려던 which will be used independently of 참이다 and retain the same meaning.

Find more KIIP Tutorials at my blog NaeNae Korean

Korean Grammar: You can't make me!

KIIP GRAMMAR NOTES

 동사 + 게 하다 = To make someone do something

Important Variations

난 너에게 하게 해요.               I make you eat.

난 너에게 못 하게 해요.           I make you not eat.

난 너에게 하게 할 수 있다.       I can make you eat.

난 너에게 하게 할 수 없다.       I can't make you eat.

Find more KIIP Tutorials at my blog NaeNae Korean

It's not all beaches and laptops

Five Expat Misconceptions

1: We are all sitting on a beach drinking margaritas and working on our website.  

Sure, that's the article that makes the front page of the Travel and Leisure section, but that's not all of us.  Some of us don't want to spend our lives living out of a backpack, chasing wifi signals.  We want a home, benefits, bread makers, and health club memberships.  We have real jobs that go on real resumes and require advanced degrees.  It's not the stable life that we are running away from, but that we are running towards.  We have discovered that jobs outside our home countries provide better stability than we found back home so we embrace international careers.

2. We are 25 years old without a care in the world.

Many of us are adults and we have responsibilities.  We have retirement plans to build, mortgages to pay, health issues to balance, student loans to complain about, spouses to consider, and children to raise.  We didn't choose this lifestyle because we have no worries, we chose this lifestyle so we could meet our obligations while also living our dreams.  Through research and determination, we found a way to have our cake and eat it too.  

3. We want to travel every second of every day.

It's not always about the next place.  Some of us land in a country and love it.  We spend our vacations having stay-cations and/or returning to our home countries to visit family. Just because we are expats, it doesn't mean we are headed to a new country every weekend to drink cocktails and practice the limbo.  Instead we are cleaning our homes, running errands, and meeting friends for lunch - just like we did back home but with the added challenge of trying to read the fine print in another language.

4. We are running away from relationships and community.

Yes, certainly.  Some people became expats to change their situation in life, however, expats are some of the most relationship/ community focused people in the world.  We value every friend we make and we go to great lengths to maintain them across time and space.  We have only each other and we value that.  Many of us stay expats to remain a part of this community because we have finally found the place that we belong and the people that support us.

5. We aren't living in the real world.

If you think that expats aren't living in the "real world" you are sorely mistaken.  We are dealing with the direct effects of the government policies of multiple nations on a daily basis. We face wars, coups, financial crashes, and religious craziness constantly.  Each time our visas come up for renewal we have to fight to keep our lives and our dreams afloat while pushing against the tide of changing policies in languages we don't understand. Just because our lives aren't built on a traditional blueprint doesn't make them any less real, it's just makes them really fun for us.

Something Fishy

UPDATE: All current blogging for area recommendations has moved to:
 South of Seoul or MollaKorea.com

To Eat: Sashimi

Holy 음식 Batman!

This is our idea of heaven.

When we have a bit more money to spend

and want eat too much sushi, we go here.
Although it's more expensive than something things,
it blows our mind how much we get for our money.

This is for serious sashimi lovers only.

It's also only for groups,

although we eat 4 servings between 2 people.

Either way, prepare to eat until you want to die.

See more pictures here: Korean Food Blog

It's on the same street as Monkey Papa.

However, instead of left at Port of Mocha, go right.

The address below is not really great and maybe you can't understand the Naver Map.  Hopefully the Monkey Papa and Port of Mocha help you find it.

Name: Japanese Restaurant 우전

Address: 경기도 평택시 신평동

Naver Map: http://map.naver.com/?mid=bl012244018