I Remember When

Plans change, life falls apart, loved ones leave and dreams crumble and you don't get to control any of it.  The only thing you control is how you react when it happens.  So what will it be?  

Will you sink or swim?  

Will you be happy or depressed?

Is this the end or is this the beginning?

Did you lose or did you win?

Was if failure or success?

Personally, there is so much in life I've stumbled over.  So many things I wish could have been different, and yet, I don't have regrets.  I tried, I pushed and I did the best I could at the time.  Are there things I now know that could have made it easier or better?  Yes, most certainly.  But at that time, in that moment - I did't know these things.  The best I can do is be thankful that I know them now so that I can do better in the future.

Still, for a while I did make failure my choice.  All the things I didn't get right ran over and over in my mind.  My self-worth bound in things I could not change.  There is a line in the new novel that says it perfectly, "Time passed at sixty-regrets per minute." 

But when it comes down to it - I fail at failure.

There is only so long I can feel sorry for myself before it just seems like too much work.  Instead, it seems more sensible to learn from experiences, decide what should be repeated and what should be left in the past. 

That is what I'm doing now. 

I'm taking the time to look at my life and decide what is my today and what is my past.  There is no way that a person can carry every part of their lives with them forever, somethings must fall away to memories so that you can smile and say, "Ah, I remember when."